So you live in Australia now?

No, um, actually it’s Austria.

See? I’ll show you the difference:

Left: TX-v-Austria.  Right: TX-v-Australia.

(Images from mapfight.appspot.com.)

MATH TIME:

If Texas is 8.3 times bigger than Austria, but 11.05 times smaller than Australia, how many times bigger than Austria is Australia? 

Anyway, yes, yes I do live in Austria now. Actually, I have since October, but I’ve only just recently managed to haul all my things over here from Germany during the two weeks that was our Easter vacation. (Yeah, we get two weeks off for Easter. Catholic country.)

So I’m schlepping my two oversized suitcases and a stuffed hiking backpack to the train station, when not a single young man passing me by offers a hand (much less a sympathetic look). If anything, one guy on his bike “tsk”’s at me for impeding his trajectory on the sidewalk, seeing as the Adrianna-backpack-behemoth + 2 suitcases = width of sidewalk.*

*That is such a pet peeve of mine. Never “tsk” at me.

I’m sweating from the exertion and thinking to myself, “Chivalry, WHERE ARE YOU?” when I hear a sweet voice from behind.

“Are you on your way to the station?”

I turn around and there stands a tall, dark, and handsome young man with chiseled pectorals and abdominals a petite elderly woman with dyed red hair and vintage purse in hand (vintage because she’s probably had it for decades). I don’t know how to say this without categorizing all German women over the age of 70, but she was the epitome of “German Oma.” (“Oma” means “Grandma.”)

“Yes, I am,” I answer with a hesitant smile, not sure how this is going to play out.

“Let me take one of those for you,” she gestures to my luggage. “I’m on my way there myself.”

“They’re very heavy…”

“Oh, that’s ok, I’ll just give it a go,” she smiles jollily.

At her own slow but steady pace, she pulls my large suitcase behind her, insisting on relinquishing it only once she’s delivered me to the elevator that will take me to my platform, despite my periodic remarks – “I can take it now” – “We’re almost there, I can manage.”

Along the way, we make small talk.

Well, I must admit, I initiate. “Small talk” is apparently a very American thing.

“I’m moving to Austria; that’s why I have so much luggage,” I offer, embarrassed.

“Mmhmm,” she nods politely. “Are you Austrian?”

“Oh, no, I’m from the United States.”

TIME OUT.

Mrs. I’m-Over-70-But-Gosh-Darn-It-I’m-Going-To-Help-This-Foreign-Looking-Girl-Pull-Her-Suitcase just asked me if I’m Austrian?

She is so cool. Seriously. My hero of the day.

First, because of her act of kindness, and second, because she neither assumed I’m from Asia nor showed surprise at my response.

As she bid me goodbye she said with delight, “I think one should do a good deed every day, and now I’ve already done mine this morning!”

FAQ:

Q:  But where is Austria?

A:  Well, it’s here: 

Image from Google Maps.

You’re right, all I did was hop the border into the Land of Mozart.

Q:  So does that mean you have to speak Austrian?

A:  No. Austrians speak German. (Well, “German.” Kind of like how US-Americans speak “English.”)

I know what you’re thinking.

Q:  But then, how is Austria any different from Germany?

But before that, I know what you’re really thinking.

Q:  How could you turn your back on Bach?

A:  It’s a bit complicated to answer your first question, but as for the second – I could never turn my back on Bach. Trust me. Herr Mozart certainly didn’t.

To be honest, I’m still figuring out the “Austrian identity.” Heck, I had a mini-identity crisis upon arrival, initially feeling more “German” than “American.” (Don’t worry, I’m American again.)

What I can say is that – while my first impression of Germany was that it was very small – Austria is even smaller. German has several cities with populations ≥ 1 million (Berlin, Hamburg, Munich & Cologne) whereas Austria really has only its capital to speak of, with a population of 1.7 million in Vienna. I live in Austria’s “2^nd-largest city,” Graz, with a whopping 270,000 residents. (Dramatic pause for awkward clearing of throat and chirping of crickets.) With six universities, add about 44,000 students to that figure.

Aside from Mozart, Austria also boasts such celebrities as Arnold Schwarzenegger (born in the same province as Graz) and the sensational Conchita Wurst, who can be seen in street-front windows sponsoring Bank Austria.

Never heard of Conchita? It’s ok, neither had I. She was the winner of Eurovision in 2014.

Apart from the stereotypical Wiener Schnitzel and Sachertorte (yum), Austria is also home to this delicious trifecta: (1) Kürbiskernöl (pumpkin seed oil -- delicious on salads), (2) Kaiserschmarrn (megafluffy pancakes + compote + powdered sugar), and (3) Schilchersturm (a rosé made during the early stages of fermentation from a grape grown only in Styria, only available for about a one-month season ).

Would eat this every day if I could.

I’ll have to get back to y’all on the Austria-v-Germany question. Until then, I will say this:

For the first time in my life, I have used purple toilet paper.

P.S. There are no kangaroos in Austria.